The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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