who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
