i think i have two assholes
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
