I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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