i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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