he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
