You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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