Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Swine flu is the new snow day.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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