Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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