Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize