if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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