I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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