I heard we made out
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Vodka?
Forever.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
