hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
