I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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