No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
