Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My balls are so social today.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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