Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Do vagina's smell?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
