I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize