Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
