p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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