Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
