I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
