new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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