Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
