We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
the liver wants what the liver wants
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
