buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
