Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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