This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have feelings that need drinking.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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