i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
