I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
did you just send me my own nude
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
