Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
