is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
