you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
