See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
