i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is it because I queefed?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
