porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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