I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
