It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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