That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
did i just pee glitter
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
