Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
