i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
