You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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