Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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