Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
