After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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