Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
