I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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