I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
