Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
