We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
