just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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