Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
